The Best Man I Ever Knew
by eightforyouhoney
Summary: The tale of the death of River's Father, growing up in a cruel place, and the man before the Doctor. Romance, Drama and an emotional story.
1. 1 Daddy?

When I was six years old, my father was critically ill. Every morning, I'd put on my shiny red shoes, my best grey dress and my thick, white woolen tights. I'd lightly brush my curly, blond hair for one hundred strokes, enjoying the way my curls bounced delicately onto my shoulders. I'd smile at my carer who looked slightly pale, and I remember her lips trembling slight each time she smiled. I'd bounce off my seat and go and visit my father holding Joanne's hand down the long corridor.

On the 14th of June 1969, Joanne was hurrying me to my father's room as we were late, when she stopped me and spun me round to face her. Bending down to my level she whispered into my ear "Now, dear. Your father is quite ill today, you must do whatever he says. Don't be scared, he may look a little… different." I stared into her eyes, which looked as anxious as ever. "Do you promise me?" obediently, I simply nodded.

When I entered his room, he was sitting on his bed, his head between his legs, mumbling and rocking slowly. I turned my head to face Joanne, she didn't look at me, just sniffed and turned away.

I remember him singing a song, the song my mother always sung to me when I was an infant. _"Oranges and Lemons, said the bells of Saint Clemons…" _He was still rocking. It was only until I stepped forward a little and started to join in that he lifted his head. Clutching his legs still, he faced the wall opposite shaking his head as tears leaked from his eyes.

"She shouldn't be here today, Joanne." Not understanding why he didn't acknowledge that I was was in the room, I spoke out.

"Daddy?" He continued to stare at the wall, then bowed his head. "Why won't you look at me Daddy?" Silence. Moments passed before I attempted to speak to him again. "Please look at me, Daddy. I drew you a picture." Taking the folded up piece of paper from my coat pocket, I stretched my arm out offering it to him. He did not stir. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, had I done something wrong? "Daddy, why won't you look at me? Daddy! DADDY!" I began to sob. How could he ignore me like that? What did I do? Did he not want me anymore? Joanne softly squeezed my shoulders and started dragging me to the door, still crying I shouted at my father.

"You're the worst Daddy in the world! All you do is sit there, and you don't care for me! Why can't you be like the nice rich daddies all the little girls have in my school! Why can't you just be normal?" Then he started to whine, singing '_Oranges and Lemons'_ once more, rocking hard. "I hate you. I HATE YOU." Joanne picked me up in her arms, and took me out of the room.

I cried into her chest for at least two hours, swinging me back and forward in her arms. My hair began wet with tears, but I didn't care. It didn't matter anymore, for my father hated me and I hated him too. "It's okay, River, darling. It's okay." But it wasn't. 'I hate you' was the last thing I ever said to my father. Nothing is okay after that.


	2. 2 Doctor, Doctor

_One year earlier…_

"River, come on darling, it's about time you left those poor worms alone…"

Even though he spoke in a serious, scolding voice, I knew that he was joking. Even my 5 year old eyes could see how his eyes twinkled like the stars we watched, and how his smile never seemed to end. He wrapped his arms round me and carried me inside to our home, a simple converted windmill right in the heart of the countryside world we lived in. I had no idea where it was we lived back then. I just knew it was my home, and no matter how rough and unlike the rich girl's houses it was, our home was filled with so much life that no one could ever take away from us. Even the hints of mother were still around; pictures on the walls and homemade cushions reminded me every minute that even though I never got the chance to know her, she loved me just as much as father did.

Running straight onto the sofa we owned, I switched on our worn out tv. Nothing special, an old model that was only just able to play a hologram message. Being the stubborn girl I was, it would be leap onto the sofa, roll around and end up getting mud all over the place. Father just laughed. No matter how many times he told me, I always felt like keeping the wellies on, like we were bringing the fun from outside back indoors. Until the time came when he had to leave and Joanne would appear with the food already made. Sometimes I would get an appearance from father when I was tucked up in bed, though sometimes I didn't. It was okay though, because Joanne was almost as lovely. She'd stand in for father until he returned and the magic would start all over again.

It turned out she'd be doing a lot more standing in over the next couple of months. Father became tired at work, and didn't want to play anymore. I tried to make the games easy and not much effort, but it would just be 'Leave him River, he doesn't want to play'. For a while I would play with Joanne instead, but the games were just like a book with no pictures. Missing something.

Then came the day that I wouldn't forget. Joanne woke me up as usual, but seemed strangely uptight. I knew she'd been worried for months but I never thought the reason would have been this. She made me wear the white shoes instead and picked me up, squeezing tightly before placing me in the back seat of the car. We never used the car unless we were going somewhere special as father said it wasted money. It couldn't have been a special place; he just sat in the front seat and refused to say anything. I tried to grab his attention but he never listened. Joanne just said to leave it, driving us through places I hadn't seen before. Holding back the tears was harder than I imagined but father always said the Song family never cried, that crying was for the weak.

We ended up at the local hospital. I didn't know it was that then, I just went along with what the others were doing, moving silently through corridors and being placed in a room with a new man. He went through pictures and long words that made no sense, talking and talking, while the others just nodded. I just didn't understand. Then Joanne took me away and left father in the room. She told me she was sorry that I had to come and get so upset, but said I needed to understand. She told me about an awful disease, cancer. About a brain tumour that he might never get better from. About how tests would have to be performed and how I had to be prepared for what could happen. What did happen.

The days went on, and father got weaker and weaker. The twinkles in his eyes faded away, and the smile disappeared for ever. The pain got too much, even though I knew father was going through so much more. I could feel every part of my world growing cold and crumbling away into the darkness.


	3. 3 Doc & Song

**_10 Years Later_**

_"Doctor?" I looked up from my seat, grinning at him, overwhelmed by the news. "A-Are you sure?" I jumped up, my curls bounced upon my shoulders._

_"As sure as I could be, Song!" I let out a high pitched scream and bobbed up and down clapping my hands like a seal. "But remember, this doesn't mean you can just run off and tell everyone. I know I may be happy for you both, but it doesn't mean your mother will be." I sat back down again, the all too common frown reappearing._

_"She's not my mother. For ten years, she's not been my mother and she never will be." I know I'm acting like a six year old, but it's true._

_"Darling, I really don't understand what happened to you and Joanne. You were so close when you were younger, especially through the times when your father— when you were— when you were in a bad situation."_

_"Just because you and her were there to adopt me when my father died, doesn't mean I have to like her." Ever since I was adopted, Joanne and I didn't get on. Doctor was Joanne's husband, the man I completely adored, he was like another father to me._

_"River," I knew Doc was being serious when he used 'River'. Doc and I had code names for each other. I was Song, as it's my last name, and he was Doc. As he was in fact a Doctor, it only seemed appropriate. "I know it's been hard for you, but you're young and your moth-Joanne is only looking out for you! Although you have my permission, please… for my sake, take Joanne's feelings into account?" Standing up and putting my bag around my shoulder I smiled at Doc._

_"Okay, I'll do it for you. But not for her." Reaching over the desk, Doc gave me a kiss on the cheek, and smiled._

_"Right, off you go!" A massive grin spread across my face. "Go on, go and tell John!"_

_"Thanks Dad, I mean, Doc!" Then I rushed at the door, dying to tell my fiancé that I'd been given permission to marry him. At last!_


	4. Toffee Fudge Cheesecake

Picking up my old fading suitcase, I trudged through the front door, tears building up and threatening to fall. The whole day just drifted away from me, a blur of hugs, "it'll be just fine"s and several slices of Peter's toffee fudge cheesecake. It was hard moving in, being adopted into a new family, away from the world i'd known my whole life. For a while I visited my old home, wandering through the corridors and dancing across the floorboards, promising that one day i'd come back here.

The next few months were some of the best in a long time. Peter would place me on top of his shoulders and make me feel I could do anything. When it came to bedtime, he would tell the most magical stories of faraway places and times from so long ago. Joanne would take me out to purchase new things, where I would sit and stare at all the beautiful items we encountered, before I came home to play.

It had only been around 2 and a half months into the adoption when I got sat down on the straight wooden chair, the one Joanne sat me on when she had something important to tell me. Peter hadn't come back from the doctor's surgery yet, sometimes he stayed late to look after a few more patients before he came home. She spoke with a soft reassuring tone, a smile effortlessly appearing.

"Now, River darling. I want you to make the most of this opportunity, it took a lot of work to get you a place here, and isn't exactly cheap. You've been accepted into the St Ives Academy for Young Ladies." She carried on, but I didn't pay any more attention, it was so easy to understand yet so hard. Everyone knew about St Ives; most people didn't give going there a thought due to the strict attendance requirements, and the fact that it was harder to get into than any other one in the country. After a while I seemed to make sense of what was going on and stopped being so confused.

"So why are you sending me there? I'm fine at my own school." Joanna just responded to my question with a sigh, then another smile.

"Because it's an amazing oppurtunity! You should be grateful. I put in so much effort and you're 'll be leaving in two weeks. Okay?" Except it wasn't a real asking-if-I-was-okay-with-it, just a word forced to get me to accept what she said.

"What about the house? I visit there every weekend, so i'll still be able to right?" I guess I wasn't too fussed about the whole sending away to a convent boarding school bit at first but I soon would be.

"Well, this is the thing honey. You'd have to stay there for the whole term. It's nowhere near close you know. So, I thought we'd put it up for sale where other people can enjoy it, and you could use the money to help pay for your books and uniform." I didn't even care that she clearly wanted the money all for herself, if I even noticed. The moment she said the house was up for sale my heart tore and nothing else mattered. I'd promised to go back there. I promised.

No matter what I said, Joanne didn't listen. So I gave up. I didn't bother caring about anything else until she came home with a telescope that I could take with me, and promised to let me go to the house one last time. I was young and easily persuaded. So I did and I took Peter's camera. I made a notebook, full of so many pictures. I took the paintings of my father and mother down, taking them out of the frames and placing them inside the book. At least then I could still keep him with me. When I finally left for the new school with Peter, we were a happy family again and I was ready for my new life as a convent girl.


	5. Brunchy

As we pulled outside St Ives, the first thing I noticed was a plump women with hair up in a tight bun, standing outside the gates of the school, which was also rather scary. Her head was raised, as if to show a power status, it was made clear she was the headmaster. The school it self was a large castle, with withered old trees around it. I stared at it all. This was my new home. Joanne turned around and I remember her looking quite anxious herself, at any point I wish she'd tell me that this was a bad idea, and to turn around and go back home. She didn't. All she said was, "It's a lovely place." This, of course, was the most obvious lie I've ever heard in my whole eight and a half years of being alive.

"It's horrible, Jo. Please, can I go back home?" Joanne sighed, and told me to get out of the car. When I got out we were lined up in front of the large bosomed nun, we asumed she was thr school matron, and also the small fat headteacher. Joanne kissed my head and waved goodbye, Peter hugged me and said, "You'll be home as soon as I can negociate with Joanne. Oh, and Song; save these for a special occasion." He slipped a packet of sherbert lemons into my coat pocket, still holding me tight. I managed to giggle, amongst the tears I was shedding. He walked away, with Joanne who was also crying. I saw them driving away, I stared to distance until I was demanded by one of the nuns to turn around.

"You, Girl. Face this way, this instance!" I instantly whipped myself around, facing the adult who spoke, it was the breasty nun. "We'll need to sort out that hair of yours. It's far too long. See me after the reading, please. Samantha will show you the way." Samantha was a peaky looking girl, with the most gorgeous orange hair, she reminded me a lot of my mother. She nodded, reluctantly. My hair was the favourite feature, how dare they even think they could cut it? Anger rose up through my veins like lava in a volcano, this anger soon turned into the form of tears which poured from my eyes.

It was now the headmasters turn to speak. As she stepped forward so slowly, the slight breeze between the trees was heard very clearly. She peered down at every girl that was joining today, and tutted. "You all look rather disgusting, don't you?" I heard several of the girls gluping. What a way to start our new life. "Aren't you?" She shouted at us.

"Yes, miss." Every girl chorused, some louder than others, however the sound given was pretty feeble.

"Yes, Ms Brunchy." It was hard to keep in our laughs, her name was so humourous.

"Yes, Ms Brunchy." We all chorused.

"I don't see why we're all here, the smell is giving me a headache, take them all up to the bathroom and make sure they scrub hard." She turned to the Matron, who gave a sharp nod which made her double chin wag.


End file.
